'Tis the Season to be Jolly, tralalalalalala....

To everyone from Buki to Daddy's Girl, Coral and of course Temmylicious - I say a very big thank you for your love and support. I really appreciate you girls. I am ever so grateful and honoured for your shout outs. Thank you loads!

How's your christmas preparations bearing up? Well, i'm in bed at the moment and although I know I should be up and about, I really can't be asked.

Yesterday was our christmas party at the RAC club in Pall Mall and dare I say it was fab? The food was tops, drinks, people(except for one of course; there always have to be the odd one) and the whole ambience to say the least.

Truth be told, I wasn't very fussy or should I say bothered about the whole thing from the start. I wasn't even aware that it was to be held at the RAC club until the last minute! Okay, yes. I did get the invite and it did boldly state the venue and the dress code but for some reason, my brain wasn't cordial with my eyes that day so I didn't really make much prep. We had the secret santa thingy too but yours truly in her unique fashion didn't bother to get a present until the night before. I just didn't want to be bothered! I just do not like the stress that comes with christmas! It zaps off all my energy! I mean, the thought of scouting through 'Bluewater' looking for that perfect present which is sure to dent a hole in your wallet isn't my idea of a great day out to be honest. I don't like having to make a list of aunties, uncles, neices, nephews, brothers, sister, mums(you know your mum isn't the only mother you have if you're from Nigeria, right?), dads and all the fringes. It is absolutely exhausting! So, I guess with all this stress, some secret santa present for a colleague of mine was definitely not top of my list. I did however manage to get her a present though, only to worry about wrapping it up later; now, that's another bloody headache right there!

Anyhoo, the plan was to wear a pencil skirt with my red puff sleeve red top and don my platform red suede peeping court shoes. I had my not so pearly beads with bracelet on standby with my gorgeous black handbag to boot. I was ready!(so I thought). Well, not until I opened my big gob and told my friend about the xmas do. Shade asked me where it was taking place and I of course told her it's the RAC club in Pall Mall.
Shade: So, what are you wearing?
Me: A red top with ivory belt and black pencil skirt with red suede shoes and 'pearl' necklace with bracelet complete with earings and black leather handbag.
Shade: Really?
Me: Yes, really!
Shade: You are so razz!
Me: Why?
Shade: You are going to the RAC for crying out loud, you have to dress conservatively and posh!
Me: I'vebeen there a number of times for business functions and i've only worn suits.
Shade: Yes...that befitted the occassion, but this time, we are talking about a party. You need to wear a dress! A little black number would suffice and throw over a faux fur! It should be a dress that leaves room for a bit of cleavage; tastefully though. You have to show your arms, so we're talking sleeveless here and you should put your hair up!
Me: You've been watching too many movies.
Shade: The dress should be silk preferably.
Me: E be like say you dey smoke Igbo
Shade: It's your funeral, don't say I didn't say so.

We talked a bit more and ended out conversation. Said goodnight and I looked at the clock on the wall. It's 1:21am. I wish I didn't call that girl. Now, my whole plans have been dashed! I think she has a point. So, i'll wear a dress. Nevermind a bloody silk black dress, i'll do even better and wear a pink! Yes, I no longer have a little black number in my wardrobe so i'll have to make do with what I have.
I looked in my wardrobe and was pleased to find the pink dress sit hanging pretty. Good thing I have wine shoes with cut front and isn't it just fantastic that I bought that clutch from Karen Millen? Everything in place but wait! I haven't got a bloody grey or wine minx throw to cover up. Why did I even listen to this chick? She always gets me in trouble anyway! Well, too 'tlate now. I can't drive all the way to stratford to ask for her faux minx throw to which she will vehemently refuse anyway. I made do with my wine cardi with silver embroidery.

It's the afternoon of the party and i'm all dolled up ready to go to the office. I look out of the window and it's all foggy! This is not the perfect dress to wear in such weather, I thought....but Shade's voice popped into my head: "It's the RAC club and you have to wear a dress" I shuddered and made for the wardrobe to look for the thickest black coat I could find but alas! I only had one for Spring! I don't have a coat to go with my dress! What to do now? I had to make do with my beige coat and mustard scarf. Of course I couldn't wear my wine shoes now if I love myself. I brought my boots out and wore them. I looked a right mess! All the colours rioting but who cares, eh? I'm out!

I arrived the office and the secret santa was already in full swing. Here comes Dessy they all said when I came in. Apparently, they'd been waiting for me! Mine was no longer a secret as everyone had already put their presents on the table whilst no one was present. I handed my gift to the new girl. That out of the way, we had to make out way to the RAC. It was me, my boss and Sara my other colleague who left together. We hailed a black taxi and headed for Pall Mall. I had to touch up my make up, change my shoes and all of that. We arrived at the RAC and the doorman came to hold the door open in a true posh manner. I felt like Cinderella forgeting that I wasn't the only one alighting from the taxi. Ahh...a princess for a day. I can see it now. Me, in my pink silk dress and my wine glass slipper...oh! I mean shoes...it was perfect! The only think missing now is Prince Charming but wait! He might just be opposite the street as this is where Mr. Pro works (Not the RAC, Pall Mall!). We went downstairs to take off our coats and give it to some man who looks after them and in turn gives us a key. I realised that 4 of the ladies who took their coats off were not wearing a dress! I was hoping that my boss will surprise me but no! She wasn't wearing a dress either! I took my coat off and they all said Wow! I was embarrassed to say the least! They all went on about how beautiful my dress it and this and that! I wasn't enjoying the attention, trust me. I thanked them but secretly cursed at Shade for putting me through this. I would have fitted in perfectly if i'd worn my skirt jejely but no.

We got up stairs and come and see eyes on me. Okay, there are times when I don't mind been the centre of attention but trust me, this wasn't one of them! The looks were that of admiration though, thank God! Anyway we got down to eat and I was sat next to the group boss! I mean, he wasn't planned to be sat next to me, what happened? It was okay though. We talked, he's quite interesting. He is 55 and single...well, a divorcee! This man was hitting on me big time! I mean, he's only a millionaire who owns a few construction company, a few investment companies and a few bars around whitehall and Pall Mall. He only owns 99.9% of the company I work for and he's asking me to come with him to one of his bar in Whitehall but I refused. I mean, you will think that would bruise his ego that this black girl who doesn't earn a fraction of his salary is turning his offer down but no. He was persistent! I excused myself and went to the ladies and....

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I am seriously feeling eldee at the moment!

Diary of a deprived woman!

I'm very tired so I don't think i'll take a rain check for watching The Next American Top Model tonight; i'll just retire to bed early and nuzzle up to my pillow as usual (the life of a single girl living in London...worashame!). I have to take something stronger for this cold or is it 'The Flu'? I get weak and feverish and might have just lost a stone or so seeing that I can now fit into my old jeans and tops. Not bad, considering the length of time i've been trying to lose my not so lovable 'love handles' but maybe not this way because as soon as the flu cloud clears, i'll be hitting my Mark's 'Extremely Chocolatey Mini Bites' which tastes nothing like what it's described as on the tub at the moment. Oh well, I thank God for little mercies.

It's 9.30pm. I better take that retirement now as I want that 12hours sleep if possible. Oh yes! Unhook the phone and put the 'mobby' on silent. Ahh...should be a blissful sleep. I mean, who can interrupt my sleep now when the land phone is engaged and my mobile phone is on silent eh? "Rinnnnnnnnnngg!!!! Ringggggggggggggg!!!! Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!! No, it's neither of my phone; it's my door bell! Oh my! Why wasn't a mute option given to the door bell when it was made? At times like this, I have a good mind to yank the bloody thing out! Argggggggggh! Who can it be? Could it be Kofi, my 'friend with benefit'? No, it can't be, he would normally call to let me know he's coming down.

I opened the door still dozy to behold a short, dark and storky man with owl eyes. It's my next door neighbour - Charly! What does he want?! I thought...

Charly: "Oh! Did I wake you"?
Me: "It's fine, i'm up now.
Charly: "Ohhh...i'm sorry, maybe tomorrow"
Me: "No, it's okay, hope everything is fine"?
Charly: He's now smiling broadly, "Oh yes, i've got good news to share"
Me: Now fully awake. "What, you won the lottery"?
Charly: "I wish. I just got the result of my AIDS test and it's negative"
At this point I felt like rushing to my kitchen, grabbing a frying pan and just whack it on his round face!
Me: "That's good news, were you a bad boy?, why did you need an AIDS test"?
Charly: " You know how when you like someone and things heat up and you get caught in the moment and before you know it, you're rubbing your thing on her thing and you share body fluid and then you suddenly remember to wear protection"?
At this stage I was becoming irritated! Does he have to be so graphic about the damn thing? Trying to conjure the image in my mind was bad alone!
Me: Hmmm....
Charly: That examination isn't fun o, they put something through your penis and check your anus and...
Me: Listen, i'm a bit tired and i'm sorry I have to go now, maybe tomorrow eh?
Charlie:..............................................
I shut my door!

Oh my! This friendliness have got to come to a stop! How disgusting!! He doesn't even know when to stop! What is my bloody business with the process he endured for his test or the fact that he's HIV negative anyway? Was he trying to tell me that should I feel a tad cold and need someone who cuddle up to, he'll be a safe option? Damn! some people do like stepping outside of the boundaries, don't they? By the way, I just hate it when after you've said bye bye to your then boyfriend who now becomes your ex, he decides the best place to show off that he isn't a loser and has still got game because he is lucky to find one of those 'any man will do' chicks, is your area. The mofo moved to my area and since then, I get a lot of mutual friends who knows fully well that you have 'chinned' his side come up to you and say: "Oh, I saw your ex with so and so at so and so" I hate it! He is my ex; now happily involved, i'm over it so you lot get over it and stop telling me about it. It's tough everywhere I go! I go to my local grocery store and they ask: "Where is Baba"? Worahell! I don't know! I go to 'Baba Dele's shop to get indomie noodle and garri and he calls me to the side. "Erm...are you no longer with your ex"? "No", i'll answer. "No...wonder!, I saw him with this yellow girl" She's tall like you, slim like you and pretty like you...maybe not as pretty as you"! Oh no! Not you again! We were together for too long and everyone in our local knew us. Now, I just wanna shake him off! On the grand scale of things, it wasn't that great a relationship! So, people, let me be!

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Okay, I wanted to blog about Mr. Pro but i've just gone off tangent. I'll be back maybe later today...That one is another tory that will take me a week of daily blogging to tell!

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Hope you're all well.

It's only Monday but the Witches are Out!!!

Okay! It's time to look for another job as someone is getting really cranky over here and I cannot stand another month of this to be honest with you.

Mr. Pro asked me to apply for a position at this company but God knows I can't work in the same company as someone i'm dating! The money is very, very good but the thought of him being my boss is incomprehensible. I can't do that!

Whatever I do though, I have to get out of here! I've had it with this woman and her bloody mood swings. Maybe i'll just go and Open a shop at Oke Arin and sell textiles. I will go to Mecca and become 'Double Alhaja' or 'Alhaja Eleyin gold'or 'stainless Alhaja'. Have some toy boy to shine my 'congo' at intervals and go to Dubai every two weeks. That sounds like an idea, right? Appear on Bisi Olatilo show every week at some Socialite's party and be plastered all over Ovation. I will be so yellow that I will make even Michael Jackson envious and would be so big I would be asked by Essence to do their cover spread as the face of the full figured woman.

Anyway sha, it's Monday and i'm not having the best of day at work! Arghhhhh!!!