Love Don't Live Here Anymore!

Hmm...the irony of life. You spend a good amount of time in your life looking for that person, that right one; the "soulmate", the ordained one and just when you think you've found him you realise that he isn't the one for you afterall. That is life, it is cruel, it's never fair but we take what it deals us afterall it's not like we have much choice in the matter; we can only but try. I have tried and if I would be honest with you, I will say: I am tired.

I know you've all endured my unending stories about Mr. Pro who seemed to be the destined one for me, right? Well, so I thought. I am sorry but today isn't the day for Mr. Pro but today is the day when I finally leave my past behind me because that is the perfect place for yesterday -behind!

The 30th of December was one of those quiet days for me, you know, with no where to go and really not feeling up to anything other than to sit up in bed, peruse blogs while simultaneously watching Pirates of the Caribbean with a plate of roast duck fried rice firmly tucked in one hand. I was bored out of my brains but I wasn't going to get up, have a shower, dress up and go into that cold, get behind a cold steering wheel and drive out to some party or a friends house. I'd rather stay in doors thank you very much.

So, i've done the rounds on the blogs, being to a few forums, Pirates of the Caribbean is finished, what else can a single girl do? I know, shebi I have a Hi5 account, why not log on today since I haven't visited in close to a year now. I don't even have a photo on there. Anyway so I log on whilst thinking who on earth has the time to spare adding friends and leaving silly comments on profiles anyway? I remember how I looked at Bunmi in confusion whilst she gleefully reply to her online admirers who have left messages like "you're sexy girl", "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven" and all that bullcrap. I used to cringe then. Today, I was not going to do any of that, i'll just go in and search for old school mates and see how lucky i'll get.

The gist though is that there is this particular guy i'd been searching for almost all my years in the UK. He was my boyfriend back in Naija and honestly, I believed that this was the only guy who could have ever genuinely loved me. I had in the past searched for him on Hi5 without success. I googled his name also to no avail. I asked my family if they'd seen him, they said no. Whenever I was in Naija, i'll go looking but still not joy. However, on this day I found him. Yes, him! I recognised him instantly and my oh my was I excited? From his profile, you could tell that he is one who also rarely visited Hi5 as he only uploaded 1 pictures with minimal information and 4 friends or so. My excitement waned a little as I thought perhaps he no longer visits. I left a message for him anyway in the hope that he would see it and contact me. Two days gone and he hadn't replied. I was begining to doubt that if i'd ever hear from him.

Yesterday, I opened my inbox to realise that he had sent me a Hi5 message. I couldn't open it from work so I was looking forward eagerly to getting home. When I got home, I read his message. He did remember me alright but his response seemed subdued. I replied and asked him to contact me. The following morning, he called my phone. I was so pleased. As soon as I heard his voice, I knew why I like him. From our conversation, I realised that he hadn't made much effort as I have to locate me and it began to dawn on me that perhaps I do hold on too tightly to the past whilst others are quicker to let it go. I realised also that I had been secretly waiting to be re-united with this person and have compared guys from my previous relationship to him.

We talked at length and reminisced the good old days when we were madly in love. He said of how very much in love with me he was. I said well, you've grown now and so have I, we have both moved on and that is now water under the bridge. He agreed but secretly, I was wishing he'd say no! I've been looking for you all my life and now that i've found you, i'm not prepared to let you go - but he didn't. I asked him if he was married to which he answered "not really". Eh! which one is not really again now, I said; you're either married or not married. He said he wasn't married but had a girlfriend. My heart sank - what, did I expect a 6ft 3'' dark and handsome educated young man in Nigeria which is full of beautiful women to be single? Well, yes! His profile on hi5 said single and he was mine first (lol). Really, i'm not surprised but I felt a big pang in my heart, I ached. I loved this guy so much and I have just realised that i'd been chasing shadows. He is not mine, he's someone else's now.

Anyway, so I decided to bury my past this year and concentrate on career and business building. This love thing is wearing me thin and its just too elusive anyway. I don't want to end up being a spinster but at this juncture, I really don't care. And no, i'm not attending any more weddings this year! I'm fed up of them! No more Aso-ebis. It's time you bought mine too!

So, bobo don go o and I guess i've put a closure to that.

Mr. Pro???