I'm sorry, i didn't mean to make this into a series but i'm known to be lazy when it comes to writing stories. Somewhere along the line, I just get bored and i'ld hate to continue when I lost steam. Right now, I am too tired beyond words to continue and no, i'm not just teasing, i'm doing my best to give the complete low down. See, as much as I know that some people read this blog, this is also my journal...so to speak so please bear with me.

I'm taking a few days off to sort some things out as per business. Well...that end has been suffering lately so it's time to re-focus. I'll be back soon.

...still on Timi...

Days turned into weeks, and weeks almost turned into a month when on a busy saturday afternoon; just 2 hours to my closing time on the queue for my till - I saw him...Timi! I thought i'd never see the day. I mean, i've only day dreamt about him some thousand times since we last met and i've only returned to the mall some hundreds of times and only looked keenly at every green 3 doors BMW (I didn't record his reg.no) with special interest in their interiors to see if they were beige leather!o

As soon as I laid my eyes on him, I became an utter nervous wreck. The conveyor belt couldn't be faster and I couldn't have scanned the customer's items any quicker. Infact, the customer had to complain and asked me to slow down. Well...she wasn't to know that the man i've only been praying to God to return to me had only just come into the store and chosen my till to be served. I apologised and as much as I tried to compose myself, I wasn't making much success of it. Two more customers served and there he was; right in front of me. Him and all his four items of purchase ( I guess someone needed an excuse to see me, right?). If you've ever seen a girl acting childishly as if she'd fallen in love for the first time, that was the sight you would have seen repeated on this day. I was so nervous, very fidgety that even a "hello", I couldn't say. I just got the giggles! I was hopeless! He must have thought: "what a child". I couldn't help myself. I knew that it wasn't wise to be acting the way I was but goodness, I just could not hide it! I'm sure the customer behind him must have thought: " oh gosh! save me this sight and just get on with it!". I served him and a few minutes later, he was out. No, here's my number, nothing...or did he say it and I just didn't hear it?

It's closing time and again I was devastated that I saw him but he didn't give me his number. He probably didn't fancy me, I thought. I made my way to the bus stop when I heard someone say "Going my way?" I looked back and it was him. It was Timi.

This was how my relationship began with Timi. Timi was an IT consultant in his late twenties, paid off his mortgage, very eligible and gosh if there was anything a man could get me with; it would be the fact that he speaks impeccably well and Timi did just that.

The first time in Timi's house was so beautiful. I woke up with breakfast served in bed! How many Naija guys dey do that kain tin? In the afternoon; he made a lovely pot of stew with orisirisi and rice. It was yummy! In the evening, a few friends of his came round to his flat and we all watched football together. I just loved it then.

However, there was one thing!

Timi didn't know that I was already in a relationship!!!

Part Deux!

I was glad I accepted the lift as it turned out to be a fantastic ride.

So we got talking. Funnily enough, I did most of the talking and the question segment. I asked away without holding back. I asked where he was from and he said Ghana! Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not racist or 'nationalist' (can you be racist against your own?). I was just somewhat disappointed. The truth is, with his look, it's not easy to discern where he's from. He looks very much like a West Indian or an Edo or Delta man or...I'm not sure but he definitely didn't look Ghanaian to me. I think I gasped when he told me he was Ghanaian actually; to which he asked why I did and I replied: "Oh, I was just surprised as you didn't look Ghanaian to me". He said: "what do Ghanaians look like then?" I said: "well...they are usually dark"...blah, blah, blah! I looked up and he had this quizzical look on his face that I interpreted as: My! This girl hasn't got much going up upstairs, has she? I realized that I was digging myself into a big hole as I did come across as naive and prejudiced in my views (I was young then, very young!) I tried my best to change the subject to no avail. All he did was paused.

He then asked: "So, where are you from?" I said: "I'm Nigerian" He said: "which part of Nigeria?" I said: "Ogun State". He said: "which part of Ogun State"? Now, I looked at him and thought: what is wrong with this one? You're Ghanaian, how can me telling you my ethnic group make any sense to you? But I answered anyway. I said: "Ijebu". He paused....

The next I knew, I just heard this person speaking Ijebu like no man's business! Like conc. Ijebu! You know the kind that even my mum or my dad can't speak fluently, the kind the only my Grandma and Grandpa speaks o! I was astounded! Where is this coming from? Is this guy a freak or something? I mean...he's Ghanaian, right? Wrong! He took a look at my face and busted out laughing! He laughed so hard that I didn't know when I joined in and laughed too! It was then that he told me that he was Ijebu too. He's from Ijebu Ode he said and introduced himself with his name and Last name. He had earlier given me some common Ghanaian name that escapes my mind now. I was somewhat relieved though. From then on, the ride seemed to be an amusement of some sort. He was sooooooooooooooo funny that I almost asked that he took me home so we can continue this conversation but we were at my work before long.

He pulled into Sainsbury's (my place of work, then) and said: "I think this is your stop?" I said: "yes and thank you very much, it was nice meeting you" I motioned for the door lever to pull it and alight when he said: " where are you going, Lady?" I was confused but said: "out?" He said: "That would be £10, please?" I busted out laughing...He said: "No...I’m serious. You didn't think I’ll drive you 4 miles for nothing did you?" At this juncture I was just flabbergasted. I thought to myself, this guy must be a psycho! I immediately dipped my hand in my bag rustling to find a £10 note that I knew wasn't there. It was his turn to laugh again. He laughed out loudly and said: "come on, it was a joke, I had pleasure driving you here" I heaved a sigh of relief! I waited for a few seconds hoping that he would ask for my digits...He didn't! I was disappointed but I bade him farewell and thanked him again for the ride.
As I walked towards the entrance of my work place, I thought to myself: What a strange, strange but funny, hilariously funny and DAMN! Sexy morrafucker...Gosh! I wish he asked for my number!

Help! I Need To Choose A Husband!

Where exactly do I begin? I don't know where - really but let me start off like this:

I have a few men in my life that I have since decided on being friends and nothing else with but there are just ones who keep rearing their ugly heads and refuse to let me be. I have now come to a stage in life where I have to make a concrete decision and not look back. Let's assess prospect A:

We shall call him Timi:

Timi I met at a shopping mall in London.

It was a lovely summer afternoon sometime in 1999. I was looking everywhere for a business centre to do photocopies of my IDs as requested by British Telecom to enable them set up a telephone line in my –then - newly acquired flat. I looked everywhere to no avail and decided to take a stroll to the shopping mall to gawk at clothes I could not afford. This was how I met Timi. I was just outside River Island (a clothing store) window looking at a lovely pair of green sandals when my eyes caught someone that looked like uncle Kunle. I smiled and waved at this person and then motioned towards him...but on getting closer, I realized my mistake - it wasn't uncle Kunle! The stranger too realizing that I had mistaken him for someone else decided to milk the situation. He smiled back and I felt so stupid! Gosh! This guy must have thought that I fancied him and wanted to chat him up! I apologized quickly, turned back and was on my heels.

I headed for the mall exit and walked as fast as my legs could carry me. When I arrived at a zebra crossing and was about to cross to the other side of the road, my eyes caught the face of the driver of the green BMW car that had stopped to give me way...it was him! The guy I met in the mall! I thought to myself, why me? Why all these embarrassments today? Oh gosh! Now, I have to do my catwalk for this guy and he'll get to laugh at me yet again! I crossed to the other side of the road quickly and then picked another race! I was wearing platform shoes on that particular day so that didn't help matters in the slightest! Goodness! I do know how to pick my moments, don't I?

Finally, I’m on my way to the bus stop when I spotted a business centre and was soooo… relieved. I went in to do my business and on turning to leave, who do I see...? Him again! He who would never let me live my embarrassment down! He was in the door way so I asked that he excused me and then he flashed me his teeth! "Damn!" I thought - this guy is so sexy! Now, I’m a mess! I was so nervous that I dropped the papers in my hands! I struggled to pick them up quickly but he got them before I did! He picked up my student ID card and looked up with an extended hand, he said: "Hello, Miss Desola A... A..." I looked at his hand and knew there was no way I could deny that - that wasn't me - he had my id card with my photo, name, and university in his hands. I replied coyly: "He-l-lo..." I rudely snatched my student id card from him and said thanks. I made to leave and he followed yet again. Now, I don't know from where, but the sweat kept seeping out of my pores...underarm, forehead, palms and some unmentionable places. I was such a mess and he could see it! I got to the bus stop and waited pretending that no one was after me. He had parked on a double yellow line. He then said: "I see that you want to take a bus - can I help you somewhere"? At this time, it had started to drizzle with rain and God knows I wasn't prepared to wait for that bus that takes forever neither do I wish to get wet. I looked at his car and seeing it was parked illegally, I thought I’d save him the trouble. I accepted.

You, YES YOU!

I dreamt about you last night.

As a matter of fact, i've been dreaming of you alot lately.

Why?

I love you, that's why!

I playback our conversations in my head.

I like your confidence.

I like the tone of your voice.

I am grateful for all your encouragements.

I like you alot.

Can we fall in love again...? Maybe not!

Do you remember our first and only kiss?

Do you feel the way I do?

I don't know what my doctor's problem is! I mean, how many times do I have to tell him that I have trouble going to sleep and that he should refer me to a therapist? It's been years now and all the mofo keeps telling me is to think and worry less! For crying out loud, i'm not stressed about anything! I just can't go to sleep when everyone else is snoring their heads off! I am done with him! I am switching to a new GP! And that bloody guy at work who should have sorted my Bupa out is going to hear the story of his life today! I mean, how long does it take? I have two root canals that need to be done and yet he drags his ugly feet and avoids me every blessed time! Anyway, it's a good thing that I will soon become an employer of labour myself and not have to settle for all these things called NONSENSE!!!

Right! I want to know what the issue is with some girls?

I joined a new church earlier this year as my old church was becoming more of a distance to travel. So far, it's been nice but I never fail to notice this trends of Naija chicks trying hard to out do themselves and their outright nasty attitudes! It's worse for those ugly chicks who have somehow managed to hook up with an average looking dude! If they see you looking hot with no man by your side, they immediately clutch their man to their sides like if they didn't; they stand the risk of losing him to you! What is with that mentality? I know the stats of good Naija blokes to a chick in the UK is very low but that still doesn't mean you should see every good looking chick as a predator! It is annoying!

Well, if you know me then you'll know of my love for most things Nigerian and cultural; which is what has influenced my dressing for the last two weeks to church. Two sundays ago, I wore an Aso - Ebi shade and I brought for Bunmi's wedding and my oh my! Did I look gorgeous or what? See, i'm so confident in myself that I know that I can pull off any traditional attire anywhere anytime! I'm not one of those I don't shit, i'm miss perfect fake chicks abound London! They would rather wear Gucci shoes and carry their Louis Vuitton handbags every day of the week including sundays and wouldn't want to be caught dead in native except of course it's a wedding or some other traditional parties like that.

Anyhow sha, I was decked up in my lace dress with beautiful mint green shoes and long rectangular clutch and my fantabulous gele! I finished the look with nice beaded choker with matching bracelets not forgeting my goggles (specs...or as they call it in Naija - shade!) I was looking too fly! I always feel extra confident when dressed in native. I feel so regal every time. And truly, it wasn't long before people started paying me compliments on my arrangement! I was feeling too good!

So I arrived the church and come and see eyes! Wetin? A few girls came up to me and said how beautiful I looked but the rest had this nasty look on their faces that was saying something along the lines of: "say wetin"? "who does she think she is - queen of England"?. Why? Why do Naija chicks hate like this now?

What is wrong with some people now? Why is it that everytime you come up with something original, they always find a way to put it down? Well, i'm just gonna put it down to hating ojare. It's because they can't think of something unique like me, innit?

So I have been brainstorming about the name to call my business o and they've just been reeling out like that. Anyway, so I was having a chat with a friend of mine who is also a mentor o and I suggested a few names to him and he just couldn't stop laughing. Imagine that? This is meant to be my mentor o, the one the encourages me to go on and all that but what do I know? Yeye man! So I asked him to come up with names and he's like something Bishop and something like that. I looked at him and just rolled my eyes for him! Imagine!

So i'm registering the company name today. I have to get the flyers and the business cards done but without the website up and running, I don't want to do it. Things are moving rather slowly now and i'm not liking it. I like quick stuff jo! The thing is, I don't want just any shabby website. I want a really good one and I know you're probably going to say it's not about the website but the services I deliver but me, I don't know how to do things in halves o. If I decide on it, I go all out to achieve it! So, cool site it is!

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Ehen, Coral mentioned that I might just like Mr. Pro abi? Well, there is no question about that. I like him but he can be so irritating that I think I might end up giving him rat poison if we should end up together! That boy might just drive me to the coo-coo house! Kai!

I am tempted to publish a few of our outlook conversations on here maybe then, you lot will get the gist of my ramblings about him. Yes, Coral, I like him! I could fall in love with him! I'm actually holding back from falling in love with him! I hate him too!

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The Purpose...

What can I do or say but to extend my profound gratitude to all your love and encouragements. I am indeed grateful to you all. Thank you! Merci beaucoup! Gracias! E se! Na gode! Daalu (is that Igbo for thank you?)

So i've decided to put my website up and get round to designing my flyers and business card. I will also need to come up with a name and get it registered with companies house. For now, i shall be operating from home and once business picks up, i'll think about renting an office space. The very good thing about event planning is that it requires little or no capital at all so that seems fine. As per the takeaway thingy, i'll have to approach the bank and get other investors. I am looking into opening two outlets for starters and see how that goes. I will have to factor in overheads, rent, insurances and most importantly the right location. The intention isn't to sell the all too familiar Nigerian dishes. Infact, I won't be serving dishes. I'll unveil my plan in due course but i'm in no doubt that it is going to be widely accepted. It's a niche market.

For now, the focus is on events planning. I love organising events so much that it baffles me that i hadn't thought about this earlier. I have planned a number of baby showers and bridal showers for friends not to mention my aunties last birthday bash and the reviews i've received are nothing short of astounding. This is where my heart is and i'm very hopeful.


I no longer find fulfilment with my job. It is great with good pay but I always get the feeling that i'm not meant to be here. I am more of a creative mind you see. I have a very analytical mind too so i do understand my being here but there is a higher calling for my life and i'm sure that I have now found my purpose.

See, Broadcasting is my true calling and Events planning and catering are a number of my hobbies. Now, i'm saying sod off to the corporate bureaucratic world and going out there to add value to peoples lives. Well, i'm not just taking the giant leap just yet. I'm testing the waters and hopefully before the end of the year, i'll be a full fledged enterpreneur. Have faith with me that this goes well, please.

Right, so if you know of a very good web builder, please let me know. Also, you can hit me on here should you require my servies. Once everything is in place, you all will be the first in on the gist.

I have a lot of fresh concepts for this new ventures and i'll be talking you through them too.

I have a cool name in mind but it wouldn't hurt to hear yours. So, what name do you think is befitting for a diva like moi?

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Other Matters...

Mr. Pro is hounding me seriously o. I don't know what the boy's problem is. I told him about my business plans and he wants to be a silent partner. The bobo no sabi take 'No' for an answer. He was round my neck of the wood last week and asked me out to lunch. I was tempted to go with him but thought...Nah! If one is looking for a young, intelligent,successful,similar culture (albeit he is more English than Nigerian), very good looking, obnoxious, non-believer; then Mr. Pro is your man.

The bobo also bombards me with talks about Nigerian politics and how because he's a cambridge, well travelled, well spoken financial guru; he is destined to be Nigeria's future president. I told him bobo, you better wake up! Do you know how many Havard, Oxford, well travelled, well connected young Nigerians there are? Omo, go out more jo! Thinking because he is a Cambridge graduate who happens to jet the world every week will have the presidency served to him on a platter!

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What Else...?

Oh yes, my proposal from the long lost bobo. No be joke o.

Look Who's Back!

Apologies are due, I know and i'm sorry for having been gone for a minute. It's not been particularly easy keeping up with my blog while work constantly beckon. That aside, I have been doing some serious soul searching, getting to know me better and to some degree I can say I know Desola. Mind you though, that is not an invitation to ask me who I am o because i'll just give you one blank look like that.

So, what's been bubbling now? How are things?

I have gists, loads of gist for you but not today. I'll keep you informed as time passes so please bear with me.

Yes o, Desola has decided to turn a new leaf o. Yes ke! I know i've been raving forever about starting my own business, being an enterpreneur and all that but for once in my life, I received clearance recently. You know; like my whole world opened up and these ideas kept popping in my head. It's good but na capital dey do ojoro right now. My friend said I should release the equity on my property and I just looked at him like...e be like say you this bobo don dey smoke igbo sha. Yeye boy.

Guess what Desola wants to venture into now. I say guess now. I know the first thing that would spring into mind is a personal stylist giving my very chic and sophisticated dress sense but no, you guessed wrong. Guess again. Live in the Studio with Desola? I know, that is bound to happen now. Soon i'll just blow up on your tv sets like that. Oya guess again. No..., you got it wrong again.

Well, let me put you out of your misery. Desola has decided to own her own Buka cum Event management! Yes ke! I'll tell you all about it too.

I'm not joking o! I know of one of you who will laugh himself silly! He calls me Iya oniru anyway and I know of another who will say: Shey the girl wey no gree show face for our planned meet ups na im wan plan event. I know but trust me, I got this on the lock down.

So, if any of you out there know of anyone who want's to throw a baby shower, wedding, birthday bash, bridal shower, hall decorating etc without the hassles, give a sister a bell o.

STOP LAUGHING NOW...

No Title

Haven’t you ever sat to ponder how serene and peaceful this world would be if women were not around? Okay, I know you’re thinking what is this girl on about now? I know, I know. I know that trouble is our middle name but that is not the kind of trouble I’m referring to this time around.

I decided to get Tuna salad baguette for Lunch today and in doing so, I’d have to walk over to Monument or Tower Bridge road to get a decent one from Greggs abi? So, I made a head start and on my way my eyes happened to be drawn to my shoes which I only this morning realized that I still had. I have probably only worn them twice or thrice so it was pretty pleasing to know I still had this beautiful shoes and left me wondering why I left it sitting in it’s box for so long without taking them out for a walk but I didn’t have to wonder for long. I realized that these shoes make peculiar clik-clok sound when I walk. I listened intensely to them and realized why I had made them redundant in the first place.

Now, my attention is turned to the other chikitos. I watched them in their 3ins, 4ins, 5ins and I just marveled at God’s masterpiece called ‘Woman’. These creatures are fascinating indeed! Why? Is it that they are jealous of horses or what? Why do they want to deceive men with their height? What is all the clik- clocking for? Is it so the men notice them or they die? I wondered o. I mean, look at those pointy shoe, of what use are they? The heels: Are they to improve their posture and give them better gait or what? Then I switched my attention to the guys, the bobos in their nice shiny flat shoes, walking briskly and confidently in their Armani suits and well, the not so Armanis and I felt a little jealous. This specie has no troubles. All it does is wake up, have a shower and get dressed. Yeah, you’ll be lucky to find those who actually bother to rub cream on their skin or use deodorant before they leave home; their lives are that simple!

I bought my baguette and popped into Superdrug quickly. I needed some shower cream and hand cream. I finished paying at the till and turned to leave but bumped into a beautiful black chik. Wait. Is she really beautiful – I mean physically? I don’t know. She’s all caked up and from the look of it, aside her co-operate city chic life; she might just be an artist. Why? Well, you should have seen the drawing on her brow; so thick and so black. It was a professional’s job. How about her lips? I wondered how long her lipstick lasts. Then, we got to the hair; long flowing silky hair. Now, if I didn’t know better, I’d concluded that evolution has taken place only on the black race but then, I know Peckham where we all gather to buy our hair extensions.

Oh no, I’ve gone off tangent yet again. I was only wondering how serene it would be if we women didn’t wear heels.